What does unconditional love look like?
I like to think it looks like your worst day. When you set hot porridge on the table, and it’s burning lil people and you just wanted them to be happy. One of your kid’s are wailing. Yes wailing- needlessly from a burn on their finger you can’t see. You get upset -needlessly, because after all, the porridge is not THAT hot (we came from the era of kids that touched the hot red coils because we were told not to.) And how can something you made so lovingly…a big pot of steaming hot porridge hurt the ones you love? grrr..I don’t like it when my kids get hurt.
A big ball of fury has erupted and the heat blast is intense and fierce (add to that a mom who is PMS’ing.) And then after unsuccessfully convincing your child all will be well (things are not well) mommy is straight up tripping and the kids leave on the bus….
You are a hot mess on the floor (much like the porridge you made) with a side order of guilt.
Guilty racked, and pathetically feeling sorry for yourself for messing up your kids childhood. Oh, did I mention you were baking ‘mom’s cookies’ at the time? Yes, because you want home baked goodness for your children free from preservatives. Oy
And whilst on the floor (couch) after your fervent prayer to God…your husband comes to pick you up and holds you in his arms, and tells you that…
“We all love you, you know”.
That is unconditional love. Even when at your ugliest moment as a mother, and wife, your husband still loves you and helps dust you off.
It was what I needed. Those few little words were all I needed to go on. And come back better than ever. I thought this was going to be a nice day, it went sour, then, actually turned out better than I thought.
Mom guilt is hard to deal with, especially when you really fudge things up. I’m here to say..it happens. Intentionally – like freaking out about hot porridge (maybe it wasnt just the hot porridge but being overwhelmed by a laundry list of items) and unintentionally – maybe you forgot your kids at daycare once or twice because you were still working (I was doing an investigation with the police on a child welfare matter-which is ironic) Just say sorry, tell everyone you love and appreciate them.
*Lesson learned, do not attempt to bake cookies before school, bake them at night or on Sundays.-tip of the day 😉
And …pms or not..always kiss the boo boos..always kiss the boo boos. I repeat
ALWAYS KISS THE BOO BOOS
(I’m going to patent that and get lots of pictures and paintings made in really pretty calligraphy so that strangers can hang them lovingly in their homes.)
There was another thought that made me feel better…and it’s bad I know. Really bad. But, I felt instantly better upon thinking it. And here it is…’At least I don’t slap my kids in the face’. Yes. That was an ugly thought that made me feel better. Where it came from I don’t know? But one thing I will always be is honest. The thought came to me after I prayed and before my husband came to pick me up off the floor (couch).
You see I used to be a child welfare worker. And I have seen bad parenting. This is my chance to do the opposite of what I saw, I can be a good parent. A happy parent. The good news is, there is no time like the present to start over, be happy, love.
Start over! Your kids will forgive you for freaking out about hot porridge, maybe even when you’re being a little crazy on a full moon. Love does make the world go round. So when the kids come home after school ready for their snack, mommy will be waiting with a batch of mom’s cookies and a batch of extra hugs. Because mommy is grateful. So important to count those blessings. They matter, each one.
As a special treat, to you my friends, here is the cookie recipe shared by my mother, whom might I add taught this whipper snapper a thing or two about survival, love and anything is possible. This recipe was given to her by her mother in law in Ponoka named Barb. Nice lady. I adapted it slightly. My girls favorite cookies ❤
1 ¼ cup granulated sugar
4 tablespoons brown sugar
½ cup shortening (I used margarine)
2 Tablespoons milk (I use almond milk)
1 teaspoon vanilla
2 cups all purpose flour
½ cup cocoa
1 teaspoon baking powder
¼ teaspoon baking soda
½ teaspoon salt
*optional* 1 cup chopped nuts
Heat oven to 375 degrees.
In a large bowl cream sugar and shortening, add eggs, mix. Add Milk, and vanilla, incorporate. Next in another bowl, combine dry ingredients.
Add dry ingredients to wet. Fold. (add nuts if using).
Drop by spoonfuls (I use the cookie ice cream scoop thing).
Bake for 10-12 minutes. Enjoy!