Family has to stick together

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When I first met my husband, I knew he was the one. It was instant. I also knew we would have a family. And years later, after dating and getting to know each other, we did.

My husband and I had three daughters in five years. In that time we got married, went to school and launched our careers. First Winona came, then three years later Tia was born. And  2 years later, Tallulah followed. I thought my family was complete.

“Done”.

Signed, sealed, delivered.

Apparently God had other plans. And its no wonder! I never would have thought in a million years we would have two more daughters – Ella and Anna Marie. And then, go on to adopt two more daughters – Deja and Alliah.

We did.

It happened.

Lets recap;

Winona, Tia, Tallulah (Belle), Deja, Alliah, Ella and Anna Marie. Seven daughters blessed to us.

Then there was nine of us. The Omeasoo’s and their nine lives. How truly Blessed I am to be called ‘Mother’. To have not one, not two but seven daughters! And one amazing husband-really I could not do this without him! My prayer is that everyone have an amazing partner like him! so please get one if your planning a huge family or alternatively, a small one!

Yes. It’s chaotic. Yes at times it’s crazy especially when moon cycles peak ebb and flow-(that kind of came out wrong-opps). Everyone is always doing something, work, school, extra curricular activities, graduating – you name it.

And I wouldn’t change it for the world.

Are we perfect? No, Not even close. But therein lies perfection. When the kids are crying, or fighting, and the food on the stove is burning, the house is a mess and people are scrambling in the morning, searching for matching colored socks. There you will find me, singing sweet praises to Creator, or alternately, asking Creator for a little bit of help.

We do our best to live the Cree way of life – It is important that our girls have a sense of identity. They need to know who they are, where they come from. We follow our traditional customs and culture. We take part in cultural ceremonies when they apply. We are stewarts and caretakers of the land, our mother earth. And we are still learning. We are on a journey to learn our language (Cree). We will learn together. We had ceremonies for six of  our daughters when they became women (our youngest has not crossed over to womanhood.) Let me tell you the pride my daughters have in participating in that time honoured tradition.

It seems on one hand, I enjoyed my daughters when they were little. Yet on the other hand I couldn’t wait till they got older, more independent. Now my daughters are going through adolescence, and becoming young adults.

At times, I wish they were little again.

Enjoy your babies and little ones while you can! Splendor each moment and milestone because soon they will be begging for their independance, getting their learners permit, kissing boys, and growing up in all manner of ways. Oy.

There never is a dull moment in our household. I’m sure when they are older, I will miss this NOW moment! I think about what Martina McBride said ‘These are the good ole days’. So true. Those words make me treasure these moments and enjoy life with my kids now. As time marches on, we still have each other. And that is important. Connection and bonding is necessary for any child, any wife and any Husband. I want my girls to know that no matter what we will always love and support them.

I make it my mission to be involved with my girls and pay attention. Maybe its the social worker in me but what is not said is just as important as what is said. Being a mother is reading in between the lines. Kind of like being a code breaker or detective but please tread with caution. I can hear my girls now in voice overs…”Mother…please”..ahem. Ok.

This also means knowing when to step back, and when to let go. With my girls I have gone through the phases of Owner (creative), to Manager, to Consultant. And I use this in mommy terms. With my older girls I am more of a ‘consultant’ (Always a mommy first and foremost.) A  type of yogi guide if you will (wishing perhaps ?) With my younger ones we are still in the Management stage. Mommy manages everything as they are still young.

However, now that the girls are getting older I make sure to involve them in planning and problem solving whether it be in minor familial decisions (what to make for supper, chore assignments) or major ones (family budget and family meetings). I find that the girls benefit from being part of decisions. They feel supported and informed. I’ve noticed this harbors feelings of security amongst them all.

Leading my family with my husband is definately not easy. But the benefits are worth it. We do provide the girls a stable sober home. No alcohol and drugs are allowed in the house. This is vital to creating a safe stable atmosphere for any family. It gets tricky when so many of their friends or relatives do not have the same values and beliefs. And here is where trouble can brew.

Decision making and choices are a part of life, so teaching my daughters consequences is essential. So essential. Raising responsible capable women is no laughing matter. Respect starts with the self. And yet, we as humans stumble, experiment and make mistakes.

There will be disappointments.

But I have learned, love and compassion lead the way when it comes to learning. Sometimes in life there are hard lessons that must be learned. Sometimes love is tough. Sometimes love says no or leads us to another choice. Sometimes parents make mistakes (and bow their head in shame).

It is my job as a mother to prepare my daughters for life outside my home. And the way I do that is through education, knowledge, applying skills and most of all, compassion and love (along with understanding). I walk the talk so to speak. This is not easy.

This is when I am grateful for the writer in me. She knows life is not perfect, never will be. Love really is the answer. In a world that is filled with butterfly’s and trolls. Good and Bad. It’s important to surround yourself with people you love.  And equally, take care of the people you love.

I like how Ella put it to me.

“Mom” she said.

“Yes Ella”.

“Friends stick together”

“That is so true Ella” I told her

“Yeah, so I’m going to stick it out with Gabby” she said.

I smiled. Gabby is her cousin, and at the time her closest friend. How sweet.

I agree Ella.

Family has to stick together too.

I’m honored to ‘stick it’ out with my family.

 

 

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